Whatever happened to the girl I used to be? The one who use to think life was endless, the one who used to giggle at everything, the one who thought that love wasn’t impossible.

We all grow up with shadows cast upon us. I have yet to understand how any one human being can be so cruel to another. How an adult can belittle a child and walk away with a clear conscious.

Doesn’t anyone realize that once you have inflicted such pain on a child, it scars them for life? That no matter how great their lives turn out, they will be forever haunted by those taunting words.

I was taunted at a very young age by a family member telling me how ugly I was. I carried that with me throughout my life and it took me until just recently to realize that I wasn’t ugly at all, that it was my relative who had the ugly heart.

Be kind to your children. Refrain from using harsh, direct words that could potentially harm their self esteem as a child.

The Girl I used To Be

What happened to the girl I used to be?
The one who laughed
The one who was gentle, kind and caring
Full of life and full of love

When did I lose sight of me?
When did I begin to hate so much?
To lose respect for myself and others

I remember growing up happy
I was known as the giggler
I am now known as the loner
A sad person who could care less about anything

I am lost

I have placed blame elsewhere but on myself
I feel as though I have hit a dead end
That I am dangling in mid air
Waiting to fall off the face of the earth

I cannot imagine what my life would be like now
Hadn’t the events of time ever happened to me
Maybe I would be a much better person today
I fear I will never know

I search for answers
I search for ways to change my life
But when it comes time to change
I tend to compromise

I am clinging to my past
Afraid to move forward
I have such low self esteem and self worth
I cannot see past the day and into the future

How do I ever get myself back to the way I used to be?
How did I ever become to hateful to myself
And want to mutilate my life with sadness

I want to change
I just don’t know how
I am afraid I am so far gone
That there is no hope in the world for me

Where did that girl go?
Please can you tell me?
I need to know where to find her
How to get her back to the way she used to be