The budding of a flower

In the beginning of spring

A couple holding hands

On a front porch swing

The sound of laughter

As children run around

Playing their little games

On School grounds

Blessings of the heart

Nothing can compare

Keepsakes and treasures

Forever shared

A soft sensual kiss

From someone you love

A newborn child,

A blessing from above

Raindrops upon a tin-roof

Snowflakes blanket the ground

Such a breathtaking sight

Such a peaceful sound

A simple hello

From someone you don’t know

A simple smile

Can spread for miles and miles

To be a friend

To lend an ear

To be there in the end

When their time is near

To give your heart so openly

It is a blessing from above,

I long to find that special person

That special kind of love

Blessings of the heart

Nothing can compare

Keepsakes and treasures

Forever shared

One special moment

Taken away

No second chances

On this very day

A life time of pain

Promised forever

Nothing to gain

From this endeavor

Two hearts split apart

From one mistake

One broken heart

A habit hard to break

Soft words once spoken

Whispers ran deep

Many promises now broken

The tender heart now sleeps

That one special moment

Will last a life time

You can never forget him

Even past your prime

Since he met someone new

Your heart you try to mend

You admit you are no longer blue

As you try to comprehend

We all have our moments

Precious and few

We live to tell our stories

Old and new

Love will come and go

You won’t be the first, or the last

I won’t judge your future

Please do not judge my past

I will try to forgive you

Only this one day

Do not ever lie to me again

Friends don’t lie to friends this way!

We spend countless hours
Seeking the truth
We keep forgetting
How it began from youth

We ponder our thoughts
Putting them into place
You must always remember
They do not measure our dignity, nor grace

An adventure waits us
As we enter into a new year
Let’s keep those pens flowing
Keep our friends and family near

The many travels we may face
We shall embark on today or tomorrow
The scenery we shall embrace
Reminding us less of our past sorrows

We have the chance to grow
We have the chance to teach, to learn
Do not worry about what is written in stone
Do not look back at the bridges you will burn

So take this journey with ease
Be thankful for your life
May you find happiness and peace
May you forget about your strife

Happy New Year to All…

Christmas bells are ringing

As the snow gently falls

Carolers joyfully singing

Deck the Halls…

Children anxiously waiting

For Santa Claus to arrive

All nestled in their beds

Afraid to close their eyes

Mommy and daddy

Are kissing beneath the mistletoe

Wrapping all the presents

In pretty papers and bows

The Christmas tree

With its tinsel and lights

Decorated with ornaments galore

Is such a delightful sight!

My Christmas wish

Are in the hopes that miracles can come true

That no child is alone on Christmas morning

That is just from my point of view

My other Christmas wish

Is for the whole world to see

The joy and all the love

That is instilled within me

For my special Christmas Wish

Is to share the joy with that one special man

To kiss beneath the mistletoe

To hold me close and never let me go

That is my Christmas wish this year

To be with friends and family

Spreading great holiday cheer

And to be with that one special man

Who means the world to me ….

My Christmas angel

She came to me

At my darkest moment

Down on bended knees

She wiped away my tears

Offered a gentle smile

Helped me to my feet

Together, we walked for awhile

She listened with such intent

As we strolled down the snowy lane

She could sense my discontent

She could sense my pain

This angel spoke to me:

My dearest Tracy

You are not alone

At this time of year

To God, you are not unknown

He holds your heart so dear

You must search within your soul

You must learn to believe

You cannot lose control

On this night of Christmas Eve

She reached for my hand

Offered a wink and a smile

At that moment I was able to understand

As we stood in silence for just awhile

I closed my eyes

To say a prayer

When I looked for my angel

She was no longer there

My Christmas angel

Saved my life that night

For the first time in my life

Everything seemed so right

Christmas is not about what is wrapped beneath the tree. What matters most of all, is the love that is shared between family and friends. Togetherness is what counts. What you are willing to give to others and not expect anything in return makes all the difference in the world

A Darkened Silhouette

A darkened silhouette, she stands alone. She looks beyond, too afraid to look you in the eyes, fearful that you may see straight into her soul. Her darkened soul reeks of sadness. Bearing scars from abuse, yet she escapes attention drawn to her like a hummingbird is drawn to the color red. Sadly, her life is stagnant, making her tired, depressed and wanting nothing more than to die.

She desires to be understood but she allows nobody into her world. She longs to be held, yet she will not allow anyone to touch her. She screams out loud, yet she cannot be heard. She walks amongst the others covered in anger and hate, eyes peeled to the ground. Hearing whispers all around her, yet she continues on. This young girl, so full of life, yet so empty, fragile, lost and alone, does not ask for help. She only thinks who she is and how she is, is normal.

She cannot hold a conversation, she is too afraid you will criticize her words, yet she can sit in her room and pen the most beautiful poetry unnoticed to the world. She sits alone and ponders her tainted youth. She dreams often about what life will be like as an adult but she cannot see beyond the darkness.

She is a darkened silhouette, one who stands behind her own shadow. She is not afraid to dance in the rain alone. Not only has she drowned in her own sorrows, she is well nourished from her own tears. The picture she portrays to the rest of the world may seem grim; but she feels her life is normal. Someday this darkened silhouette will awaken and come to life. In the meantime, she stands alone in silence.

A note from the author: I wrote this story about a girl I watched grow from a bubbly little girl into this dark, deep, difficult, silent girl. Almost like night and day and she stood before me and could not look me in the eyes as we were talking. I was not surprised because I saw a little of me in her at that age. However, we need to understand why teenagers get to that point of alienation. How do we prevent this from happening and what can be done to correct the situation once it arises? Get involved! Just get involved!

You, might be the most honest person in the world, yet the person for whom you are engaging in conversation with could possibly be someone that he/she is not and you would never know it until it were too late! It can happen, it has happened and it will continue to happen as long as we allow it, and as long as we rely on the internet for that ever-lasting hope that we will find love, friendship, and truth.

I spent the last three months doing extensive research on various dating and community sites on the internet. I wanted to understand what really drives individuals to their breaking point; I wanted to find out what it took to get someone out of their comfort zone. How far they were willing to go and how far would I be willing to go to get them there. I had to be a nice girl, a naughty girl, a mean girl, a friend, a flirt, but I was never willing to meet them so I had to come up with excuses that would be believable and if not, I had to take it to a totally new level of argument and be willing to take whatever abuse they dished out at me. It was a horrible experience.

I had to become a friend to many, gaining their trust so that they would allow me into their world and the things I discovered about what is out there these days, is shocking! The expectations that men have for women, as well as what women want from men are extreme and the disrespect for each other is so outrageously obvious that I spent most of my time stunned and amazed at the behavior of both sides. The most shocking of all, is the amount of married men/ women on the internet, looking for companionship, conversation, attention, and cybersex. Many are actually going out of their way to meet with any willing man/woman to have physical intercourse behind their spouse’s back. What amazed me is the number of people willing to fall prey to this situation because of lack of self esteem, or because the guy/girl is ‘hot’, or they are receiving just the right amount of attention from that person and it is so obvious how these people know just how to manipulate until they get what they want.

I have witnessed men wanting to expose themselves to me on cam; I have witnessed men wanting to be friends with benefits only.  I have witnessed women asking me to spy on their boyfriends on the internet to see if they were cheating. I played a sixteen year old girl flirting with men over the age of thirty and was appalled at how many were willing to meet me. I witnessed a man begging me to turn my cam on so that he could show me what kind of underwear he was wearing at the time, and I was mortified and grateful for the delete button. What is wrong with people today?  Although this stuff has been around for many years, it has drawn more attention lately because it seems like people are bullying others into doing so much more now than they ever did before. What kind of message are we sending our kids about the internet? It isn’t safe to just ‘surf’ the net anymore. I say this only because most of the sites that I had been in are free to the public and are full of these very same freaks that I thought were nice people in the beginning but are lurking in dark corners, just waiting for some vulnerable child or woman to come along.

I set a lot of men up; I admit I am not proud of how I went about my research, or how I handled myself on certain situations. But I learned a great deal about myself, my strength and I learned from those who were willing participants. The worst part was getting them to engage in wanting more from me and as I would back away the verbal abuse would begin, and at one point I did take it to heart. There was one man that I spent a great deal of time getting to know by telephone, by texting, by daily contact on a particular site where we met, and by IM (Instant messaging). We were growing closer and within a week he was asking me to come to his home in the middle of the night (which was an hour away and out in the country) to sleep with him. We had never physically met yet and he never offered to come to my home-town to take me out to dinner, a movie, or any type of public activity. He jumped right into wanting to sleep with me and that was his focus from the beginning. When I began to back down, the verbal abuse began. My self-esteem fell, because I had never experienced such abuse from anyone.

The bad part of being on the internet like that is that people can be anything they want to be, they can be as strong as they need to be, they can be hurtful or they can be truly kind. Whatever the case is, they will be what is necessary to survive. You may think you are safe on the internet, but you are not! This person stalked me everywhere. He wore me down to the point that I had to shut many programs down because he would find me. He made me cry, he would text me endlessly into the night and then he involved a girl who claimed to be my friend and she began to harass me continuously for two weeks after. I had to shut my phone off and was about to change my number when it all fell silent. These two played the game that is played on these sites so many times over; bullying people into believing that they are nothing, worthless, ugly, and fat. Both were parents, and because of that I was stunned at their behavior! Since neither knew about the research project, I let it go, but I would never want that type of person in my life.

After that experience, I was baffled at my behavior and needed a break; I was just about to close down a particular site when I met a man who turned my life upside down. I have fallen in love with him but even that has been a rocky road because I still carried such strain from the previous experiences that I almost lost this person. I still have him in my life and I am praying every day that he will see the goodness in my heart and realize that I really do care deeply for him and am grateful that he is still in my life. I have not been able to get him out of my mind. The night he kissed me will be remembered until the day I die, because they say it is all in the kiss and I believe that now!

Now, remember that the internet can be your friend or it can be your enemy. Watch what you say at all times. Watch what you do at all times. Remember that every little thing you do is a reflection of you. Your job can be affected; your family can be affected. So always ask yourself, if I say this, or do this, can it harm me or someone closest to me in any way? If you answer yes to yourself, then you know you cannot do it but if the answer is no, then you are okay. Try to explain to kids the harm that bullying on the internet can do. Try to express the importance of not exchanging photos of any kind to anyone and I mean anyone, even if you trust them because that can come back to haunt you in the worst way. That boyfriend whom you think you will be with for the rest of your life, you suddenly break up with him, then suddenly you find your photos all over the internet, you know, the ones you intimately shared with each other, never thinking that he would do such a thing at the time. Come on people, use your heads! This has got to stop!

Always remember that when the internet bites back, and it does bite back; it isn’t always pretty but it can be prevented!

Cascading mountains

Seen from a windowsill

In meadow full of flowers

Daisies and daffodils

From white, puffy clouds

On a clear summer day

Not hidden by misty shrouds

Chasing your blues away

From a bubbling brook

To a mellowing stream

By a fire with a good book

Brings forth a pleasant theme

Standing in the middle of a crowd

Shouting at the top of your lungs

Watching people walking by line

Some speaking in tongue

This is inspiration.

How great poetry is written.

Surrounded by God's creation

Reaching from deep within

In the silent of night

As you watch the first snowfall

When everything is black and white

When you feel so small

When inspired by a small child

What a great story is told

Witnessing a newborn's first smile

Is something to behold

This is inspiration

Visions from the heart and soul

It can be your salvation

It will play its vital role

My inspiration

Comes from thoughts in such

As I share my poetry with you

I hope you enjoy them just as much

This poetry verse was taken from the "Dancing With Words" by Tracy Leigh Ball

We are all empowered with the knowledge and wisdom to make our hopes and dreams come true. We have the ability and strength within us to believe. Yet for some, the need for encouragement holds them back from fulfilling their dreams. Just believe in yourself, only you can make you happy. Only you can make your dreams a reality. You cannot rely on other people to make you happy or to make you believe in yourself.

There is a writer in all of us; we all have a story to tell. You just have to have the courage to tell that story. You have to have the patience it takes to sell your story to a publisher; I cannot emphasize enough on how you have to do your homework. There are certain rules and regulations you must follow in order to submit your work. You must research every publisher on their requirements for submission. Plus, you must prepare yourself mentally for rejection, trust me, there will be many rejections, but that does not mean that you are not a good writer. It just means that your work might need a little improvement or the subject matter is not what they are looking for at the present time.

There are no guarantees in the world of publishing. You will be liked and you will be disliked; and you cannot expect that you will please everyone. Do not let rejection discourage you from continuing on your journey to writing that all American novel. Rejection is like riding a bull, the first time you are bucked off, it will be up to you to climb back on that bull and ride again and again.

As I have said before, your dream is your dream and only you can make that dream come true. Just believe in yourself! Belief in the ability that you are capable of accomplishing your goals is all that matters. Be the writer, feel the words, express the meaning, push yourself beyond your limits and keep an open mind. As a writer, there are no limits as to what you can do. Your willingness to explore your creative imagination will be the key to your success. The sky is the limit; all you have to do is just believe!

No child should ever have to fear going to school.

Bullying has been around for many generations. When will it ever end?  When I was in elementary school, I remember vividly, the girls who followed me home and called me names, pushed me down and even shoved me in front of a moving car. I was lucky that the woman driving the car was quick and able to stop but I ended up with a bloody nose and she gave me a ride home.

The girls were older and tougher than I was, and I never did anything to provoke them but for some reason they picked me out of the whole student body and decided to make me their punching bag. I was never so relieved when they went to junior high and giving me two years of relief.

However, the minute I entered junior high, they were waiting for me and the bullying continued. My parents finally stepped in and put an end to my suffering by calling the police after I was beat up while off school grounds. The police took us over to one of the girl’s home to confront the parent; we were amazed to find that the mother was mouthier then her child. That explained why the girl was the way she was.

It starts at home, whether a family member has bullied the bully, mentally or physically.This compels them to turn around and afflict the same abuse onto others for self-satisfaction. We need to draw a line somewhere and gain control of this ‘ever growing’ epidemic before it escalates out of control. The number of bullied teens committing suicide has grown and will continue to grow if we do not step in and implement harsher laws. Make the bully completely responsible for  their actions. Charge them with reckless homicide if the child they are tormenting should commit suicide, and if that does not stop them from bullying other children, then we need to force the parent of the bully, to pay a hefty fine. Maybe then and only then will parents step up and teach their children the importance of respecting other children. Wake up people something has to be done!

We all share the same concerns for every child facing this on a daily basis, yet nobody has come forth to stop this dead in its tracks. If you have never been bullied, that should not make a difference in your willingness to get involved. I have heard parents say; “I was never bullied, and my child is not being bullied, so I don’t need to get involved”.  Well you need to get involved and start showing interest in your local school board and get the ball rolling in your district to force them to implement harsher punishment, help protect the innocent child, whether it is your child or not. If they do not wish to implement harsher punishment, protest until they make the changes.

We all have ideas on what should be done, and I do not think there is any right or wrong way of doing this. I firmly believe that we need to make the bully fully responsible and if he/she wishes to continue then we need to go after their parents, bottom line!

Also, let us not make this a gay/straight issue. The fact that a bully torments any child should be the focus. Every school district in the United States needs to protect the innocent child no matter the gender, race, etc.